Wise Sayings of the Centaur

What do you call it when you get evicted? Oh yeah, evicted.

I don’t understand how toilets work.

Don’t you love how annoying I am? I’m a professional. Ah! My pillow!

I threw away two egg shells today… Oh! And a piece of gum.

Look who has arrived! It should be noted.

Too much math.

Prior to this experience, I thought that was the most expensive vacuum cleaner on the planet.

[regarding graffiti] They are terrible artists! It looks like a child drew this!

I think the AC got used to me blocking off this side of the house which is why it isn’t cooling over here anymore.

Hugging the president seems like a really dangerous job.

I’m really concerned about going deaf from blow-drying my hair!

Oh! Sorry sir! I was too busy picking my nose.